A Series of Awkward Events
by pingo1387
Summary: Modern-day AU. A surprise dinner date, two escaped criminals, and two overprotective siblings make Zoro's day rather interesting. One-shot. ZoLu, side SanUso, mentioned NaVi.


"Yeah . . . okay, sure." Zoro scratched his head. "The Italian place—"

" _It's called Palla's—"_

"Right, whatever—that place at six-thirty."

" _Correct."_ Zoro heard the grin in Sanji's voice. " _I'll make reservations for three, unless you secretly got a girlfriend."_

Zoro burst out laughing.

" _I know, right?"_

"Well, I won't bring a girlfriend," Zoro said once he'd caught his breath. "Hold for a second, will you?"

He covered the receiver without waiting for a response and stepped into the living room. "Hey, Luffy?"

Luffy looked up from where he was struggling to set up a card house. "Yeah?"

"How do you feel about going out to dinner tonight?"

Luffy's face lit up.

"With blondie and Usopp," Zoro added.

Luffy frowned. "Um . . ."

"The ones from the bank."

Luffy hesitated. "Oh. Okay."

"You'll like them," Zoro promised. "I know you guys didn't meet under the best of circumstances, but this can be a fresh start."

"Okay," Luffy agreed at last. "I get food either way."

Zoro grinned and returned to the phone. "Still there, curly?"

" _Yes, now did you want to say anything else?"_

"Yeah. Like I said, I won't bring a girlfriend, but can I bring my boyfriend?"

A loud clatter from the other end made him wince, and someone in the background said something.

" _Since when do_ you _have a_ boyfriend?!" Sanji yelled once he'd grabbed the phone again.

"Drama queen much?" Zoro muttered. "I'll explain at the restaurant, so make reservations for four."

" _I will, don't you worry—you better not be fucking with me, moss—"_

"Yeah, see you tonight." Zoro hung up before Sanji could say anything else and went into the living room. "Dinner's half-past six, Luffy."

Luffy grinned, his card house toppling. "Great! Can we go shopping now?"

"Yeah." Zoro sighed. "The dinner thing must've been Usopp's idea, it's pretty last-minute . . . we can still get hamburger meat for tomorrow."

"And cake!"

"And cake. Come on."

* * *

The shopping trip was mostly uneventful, though Zoro couldn't help but get the feeling they were being watched, or perhaps followed. He shook it off, and he and Luffy were on their way, plastic bags full of food and faces full of smiles.

They drove back to Zoro's place and had just finished unloading the bags when the phone rang. Zoro hurried to get it.

" _Zoro?"_

"Robin," he said in surprise, suddenly listening intently to his superior officer. "What is it?"

" _I know today's your day off, but you should be here to hear what went down. It shouldn't take long."_

"Did someone die?"

" _So quick to assume. No one died, as far as I know, but do come quickly."_

"Yes, ma'am." Zoro hung up and turned back to Luffy. "Sorry, I have to go to the station for a bit . . ."

"I wanted to play video games," Luffy protested.

"Hey, we'll do that later," Zoro promised. "I'm gonna lock the doors. Stay in the house and don't answer if someone knocks. Be back soon."

Luffy jumped on him in a hug and kissed his cheek. Zoro squeezed him in turn and pried him off to get to the door again.

* * *

As Zoro drove down the street, he thought he saw two people waving at him—but he didn't recognize them, so he ignored them, thinking they were waving at someone else.

When he reached the station, he got out of his car and hurried inside to find an absolute mess.

"What happened?" he exclaimed, looking around at the concrete rubble and bent bars.

"The criminal Franky escaped _again_ ," Robin said with a touch of annoyance. Her full uniform contrasted Zoro's lazy Saturday outfit. "He was set to be taken to a higher-security prison soon, but . . . I'm surprised he didn't break out sooner. He's been here for a _year."_

"Was anyone hurt?" Zoro asked, folding his arms.

Robin shook her head. "We've interrogated the other prisoners, but they don't know how he managed to blow up his cell, and they're more annoyed he didn't get them out, too," she explained. "Speaking of which . . . his partner in crime is gone as well."

Zoro thought back to the time he and Robin had taken down the trio of would-be bank robbers. There was Franky, of course, and Luffy, and . . .

"Chopper?"

Robin nodded. "According to one of the inmates, he escaped when Franky offered to take him with him."

"Two criminals on the lam," Zoro muttered. "I was having a good day."

Robin grimaced in sympathy. "I should hope they won't be difficult to find," she said. "They don't exactly have average appearances. Really, to dye one's hair blue when on the run . . ."

"And their noses."

"And that." Robin tipped her hat. "You're living with the third one, Luffy . . . he doesn't know anything, does he?"

"He's hardly been out of my sight since he got out," Zoro affirmed. "We visited Chopper a couple of times, but I don't think he had anything to do with the break-out."

"Very well. That's about all . . . let us know right away if you see anything suspicious."

"Of course," Zoro said. "Oh, this is a little last-minute, but Luffy and I are going out to eat with blondie and Usopp—want to come?"

Robin shook her head with a smile. "I already promised to work this evening," she explained. "Another time?"

"Sure," Zoro said with a shrug. "Good luck. See you."

* * *

When Zoro pulled back into his driveway, he spotted two people sitting on his doorstep, arguing about something. When they saw him, they stood and ran over to the car.

He made a motion for them to back away and got out. The moment he did, they started yelling.

"Shut up before I call the police," he snapped, glaring at them. He paused. "I mean, I am the police, but I'm off-duty—never mind. Who are you and what do you want?"

"Is Luffy here?" said one, a man with wavy blond hair and a burn scar on his face.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "Who are you?"

The other one, a man about the same height with freckles and dark hair, spoke up. "Hey, you _are_ Zoro!"

Zoro turned to him and took in his appearance. His eyes widened after a moment.

"Ace," he said in surprise. He glanced at the blond one. "Then you must be Sabo?"

Sabo and Ace nodded.

"I—how'd you know Luffy was here?" Zoro said in surprise. "And what're you doing here?"

"Who are you?" Sabo interrupted.

"Friend of Luffy's, don't worry," Ace reassured. He looked back at Zoro. "It's been a while—really long story, but I saw you at the grocery store, and then I went to get Sabo, but by the time we found you again you were leaving the lot, so we did our best to follow your car, and Sabo spotted you pulling out of your driveway, but then we tried to get in and the door was locked and no one was answering, so we've been waiting here for thirty minutes and we are _exhausted_."

"I'm exhausted just listening to that," Zoro muttered once he'd processed it. "I told Luffy not to answer the door—"

"Look, can we see him?" Sabo burst out desperately. "It's been years—"

"Yeah, of course," Zoro said. "Only he's still on probation, so he can't leave the house without me."

"Probation?" Ace repeated in confusion.

"I'll let him explain. Come on in."

Zoro unlocked the door and finally opened it, Ace and Sabo following behind like shadows.

"Luffy," Zoro called. "Someone's here to see you."

Luffy bounced out of the living room with a curious expression. "Someone—?"

He froze when he saw Ace and Sabo. Zoro stepped aside, allowing the older two to run forward and seize Luffy in an enormous hug.

"You _idiot_ , we were so _worried_ when you ran away—!"

"Ace! Sabo! What're you guys doing here?!"

"What are _you_ doing here?! How are you?!"

"I'm okay, I'm not in jail anymore—"

" _Jail—?!"_

Luffy's face ruddy and tear-stained by the time they'd calmed down, and Ace and Sabo were doing their best not to cry. Zoro went to get them drinks as they got into the living room.

"What happened after grampa kicked me out?" Luffy asked at last, sniffling.

"He regretted it the next day, but you know how stubborn he is," Sabo said dejectedly. "Like you."

"And both of you," Luffy said indignantly, though he grinned.

"We—Sabo and me—we looked for you for a while, but couldn't find you at all," Ace explained. "And we've been living together in this area for a little less than a year—grampa's still living on the island, we're gonna visit him soon—"

"Oh, I actually hitchhiked around the island for a long time," Luffy explained. Zoro sat next to him, setting glasses of lemonade out. "'Cause I couldn't remember where Zoro moved, but I really wanted to see him again—"

"This was when you were in high school?" Zoro interrupted. "I was probably in college off the island."

Luffy frowned. "Oh. Well, anyway, after I couldn't find you, I took a boat off the island, and . . ." He explained about how he'd lived on the streets for a while.

"And what's this about probation?" Ace said with stern eyes.

Luffy shuffled his feet. "I might've tried to rob a bank."

Sabo and Ace started yelling at him, and once they'd finished, Sabo said, "Was anyone hurt?"

"No," Luffy exclaimed. "Me n' Chopper got knocked out, but that's it."

"By the way, Franky and Chopper broke out of jail," Zoro added.

Luffy's eyes widened. "No way!"

Zoro quickly explained how the robbery had gone down.

Ace pinched the bridge of his nose. "Geez, Lu . . . you get into a lot of trouble without us around."

"I do that anyway," Luffy said indignantly.

"That's not something to be proud of!" Sabo exclaimed. "But, geez . . . I'm so glad you're okay."

"Like I said, he's on probation," Zoro said. "He—"

The phone rang again.

"God damn—hold on," Zoro muttered, hurrying to the kitchen.

"I guess this means you can't come live with us, huh?" Ace muttered.

" _What do you mean, six people?"_

"No," Luffy said. "But you guys can come visit, right?"

" _Who the hell is Nami?"_

"Sure, but your friend Zoro's always gonna be there," Sabo pointed out.

" _Do I have a choice here?!"_

"Well, yeah, but we're dating," Luffy said matter-of-factly.

" _No, I'm not blaming Usopp, because you're the one I'm talking to!"_

"You're _what?"_ Ace exclaimed as the phone slammed in the other room and Zoro came back.

"I fucking hate him," Zoro muttered. "Luffy, blondie and Usopp decided it'd be a good idea to invite two more to the dinner."

"Dinner?" Sabo said suspiciously.

"Yeah, my friends are non-communicative idiots and decided it'd be a good idea to have a dinner date where half of us don't know each other," Zoro explained, rubbing his temples.

"Who're the other two?" Luffy said curiously.

"The bank teller woman and her girlfriend," Zoro said. "So, be ready for that."

Luffy frowned. "Oh. Why?"

"Apparently blondie talked with her, and Usopp met her girlfriend, so they all wanted to get to know each other—I don't know! I don't know why I agreed to this!"

"So, Luffy tells us you're dating," Ace said, eyeing Zoro.

Zoro looked at Ace and Sabo properly and finally noticed their demeanors, so like a bear protecting its cub.

"Um . . . how about I go to my room and give you three some more time to catch up," Zoro offered quickly, all training on how to deal with physical assault escaping him.

"You can stay," Luffy exclaimed.

"Thank you," Sabo said, ignoring Luffy.

* * *

Zoro came out of his room, dressed in neat clean clothes, and went to the living room.

"You're still here?!" he yelled.

"Well, sure," Ace said, looking up with his brothers.

"Luffy, we need to go if we want to be on time," Zoro said, gesturing to the clock.

"Dinner!" Luffy exclaimed, jumping up. He grinned at Ace and Sabo. "It was really good to see you again! Thanks!"

"Where're you going for dinner?" Sabo asked abruptly, standing with Ace.

"What was it called?" Luffy said. "Palla's, I think? It's Italian."

"Right. We're coming," Ace said.

"No, you are not," Zoro snapped.

"We'll pay for our food," Sabo protested.

"I don't care, we don't need to make this any more of a fiasco than it'll be," Zoro said firmly. "You guys, Luffy, and me can go another time."

Luffy shrugged. "That sounds good."

"Luffy, go change into something clean."

Luffy looked down at himself.

"Please."

Luffy shuffled to the bedroom. Ace and Sabo turned to Zoro with narrowed eyes.

"Look, can you leave?" Zoro said impatiently. "We have to go as soon as Luffy's ready."

"We'll call or something later this week," Sabo said at last. "Thanks very much for the hospitality."

He and Ace left with nods to Zoro. When Luffy came out, they were long gone.

"That was so much fun," he said, all smiles. "Wow, I'm so glad they're doing good!"

"Ace hasn't changed much," Zoro remarked. "C'mon, in the car, let's go."


End file.
